Thinking Positively About A Lack Of Sex: What A Sex-Positive Therapist Might Say

Despite television and advertising telling you that you should be having sex all the time, what is a reasonable amount of sexual activity for a healthy adult? That really depends on the adult, and it depends on available and willing partners. In the current culture of sexual assault cases going public, a lot more men and a few women are less likely to try to pursue mates if they are worried about being labeled as a sexual assailant later.

Then there are those adults who have not had sex with anyone in a really long time, but not by choice. If you have gone through a serious dry spell where sex is concerned, you could consult with a sex therapist. A sex-positive therapist might help you see that being unintentionally asexual can be a good thing. Here are some ways to think positively about your sexual dry spell while waiting for a good partner to come along. 

Cannot Contract Any Diseases

This is definitely a positive when it comes to not having sex. There is absolutely no way to contract pubic lice, HIV/AIDS, hepatitis A/B/C/D, gonorrhea, chlamydia, genital warts, or any other STI/STD if you are not having sex of any kind. In short, not having sex is making you a healthy (and therefore attractive!) person and potential mate for someone in the future. The waiting may be really difficult, but knowing that you do not have anything unpleasant to pass on to a sexual partner is good to know. 

You Can Focus More on Other Things of Importance to You

Maybe your career is really the spotlight you are reaching for now instead of reaching for any sexual partner you can find. Maybe completing some ultimate lifetime achievement goals while you wait for a lover would make you more interesting to partners, too. Now is a good time to really assess your situation, your wants and needs, and your goals for the next ten to fifty years of your life. Doing so will help you look at future sexual partners and decide if they are in your life just for fun or if any of them will become a more permanent fixture in your goals and plans. 

You Can Channel Sexual Energy into Physical Energy

It is funny to think of it this way, but a lot of people in a gym are not having sex. They are not having sex while they are in the gym, and they may not be having sex outside the gym either. That is because a lot of sexual tension, sexual frustration, and sexual energy can be channeled into physical energy and used for exercise and working out. You might find that doing the same takes your mind off of sex and dramatically improves your overall health.